WHAT TO DO IN PHASE TWO…
I really never thought that at the age of 49 I would be twice divorced and very unhappy with my career. I will be honest I did at times feel like rolling up into the fetal position and hoping that the answers would miraculously come to me. Oh to be young and foolish again.
And so when I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I got really really excited, because as the old cliche goes, when one doors closes another door opens. And man I finally herd opportunity knocking and it was banging at my front door.
It was with renewed piss and vinegar that I took this opportunity to decide what my life was going to look like and what career path I wanted to take.
The end of a relationship is often the beginning of a new era for you. New life, new career, new body, new hairstyle. There are no limits on what goal you can set and what change you can bring about. So I encourage you to treat this as the opportunity that it is. The chances to start over again, phase two take two, move on.
So where the hell do you start? Well start by taking inventory of your life. And I mean be brutally honest. What in your life sucks? What do you dislike about yourself? Hair, body wardrobe? What about your job? Are you happy with it?
Now make a list. I want you to write everything down, as if you had the “perfect dream life”. What would it look like and what kind of car would you drive, what kind of house you would live in. You get the message right? And don’t limit yourself by thinking, oh this is too much of a stretch, I could never get this, or look like this. Take that self doubt and show it the door.
Now that you have your list, re-read it. And pick out three realistic goals/changes that you want to see happen. Number them in the order of importance. And now write out how you want to see those goals get achieved and set a date to achieve those goals and hit those targets. But I warn you, don’t be unrealistic in the time frame that you are setting because if you are, you may be setting yourself up for failure and that is going to have the opposite effect of what this exercise is all about.
So now you have your goals mapped out and dates set to see those happen. Start imagining how good its going to feel to check those bad boys off your list. Visualize it happening, live like it is happening!!! Fait Accomplit! Part of moving forward is mapping out a new life that is going to make you happy as a newly single person.
This is phase two for you and it’s the perfect opportunity to get clear on what it is you really want in life. And it’s never too later. I started my fourth career at the age of 50 and it came as a result of my divorce and me being honest with myself as to what was the root of my unhappiness.
But more importantly before you even begin to write this list, you need to take a good hard look at your surroundings and start getting rid of shit that you have been hanging onto to. Things that remind you of your ex. Shit he bought and you never liked. Old college furniture. Get rid of it!!! Nothing is as gratifying as decluttering and putting your own spin on things. I love bling and now my house is full of bling!!! When the sun shines, I have to put on my sunglasses because it’s so fucking bright. But I don’t care I love it!!!!
To be in control of your future, your life, your surroundings, the grind of your coffee, is the most powerful exciting thing that can happen to you. So what are you waiting for? Make that list, visualize it happening, make it happen and start living and acting like you own the place. It’s in your power.
Much Love,
Maria
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