Humiliation 101 – A Fucking Wake-Up Call
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Well sometimes we all get a spoonful of humiliation, but today I got a whole plateful. I mean I’m pretty sure that I hit a low that I have not seen in years.
Years ago I went bankrupt and I mean those financially hard times were the worst. Counting pennies, never having enough money to put gas in my car and food on the table. I scrimped, I budgeted and still I was flat fucking broke.
Today brought me back to those times. Now don’t get me wrong I am nowhere near bankrupt but it would be fair to say that cash flow has been less than “flowing”. As a mortgage broker, I work on 100% commission. Well the Canadian government in their wisdom have made so many changes to the lending rules that it has really had an impact on my business. Business is down. It’s harder to get mortgages for people and its taking longer than before, so again the cash ain’t flowing like it used to.
Add to the lack of cash flow, putting my daughter through University in the states and putting in a ton of money into my coaching business, and that makes a recipe for tight times. And trust me I am not used to it, after having done so well for so long. But it certainly makes things very clear. Like, do I really need that $8.00 coffee? And those jeans? And that new lip-gloss? Amazing how when money is tight, stuff doesn’t seem that important. You can actually live without stuff. As mothers, single women, laid off women, etc. we all know how to stretch a dollar and budget. We all know what’s really important to spend money on, and what we shouldn’t, so I know you feel me.
But really got me feeling low and like a piece of shit, was when my “gal” who has been helping me rock my coaching biz, cut me off until I got caught up on my invoices. I was like holy shit. I am scum; I can’t even pay my invoice. But the worst part was that I had to make her have that conversation with me. And that my friends is what made me feel the worst. You see she is great, I love her and she has become a friend and the humiliation I felt, because I put her in that really tough position to have the “money talk” with me.
So we ended our meeting relatively quickly and I sat there and I absolutely wanted to die. From humiliation I felt and for the pain I caused her in having to have that talk. But I am happy to say that I scrounged up that money and I paid in full that same day.
So here comes the lesson. If there is something that is so vitally important in our lives, no matter what, I know that we can always find a way to make that happen. I know it from personal experience both from this and from past experiences. That’s what makes us amazing versatile women. Where there is a will there is a way, always. And today I practiced what I preach.
More importantly it gave me even more conviction to get my coaching business to move forward successfully. It gave me more conviction to get my side hustle (I’ve partnered with a luxury hair care company) off the ground as well. Why? Well let’s face it, I like nice things, I like to travel and I like money. So short of selling my body, I want to make money and lots of it. Don’t judge me for being honest. It’s true; I’m a bit of a Diva.
So for all the women out there, trying to make ends meet, trying to make more money, trying to find happiness in doing your own thing: to you I say, hold steady and hold firm. You can do this. It will come. Don’t be afraid, because no matter what you think, by the sheer power of wanting it, it will happen, you can make it happen. You are so much stronger than you think and know.
Sometimes you need a little ego boost, sometimes you need a shoulder, sometimes you need advice and sometimes you just need to hear that you can do it. I got your back. That’s why I am creating these programs, the membership site, the blogs, the meditations and the Facebook group. Because I want everybody to get the help, love and support that you need, to help you be the best version of yourself, financially, spiritually, physically and mentally. #nowomanleftbehind. And I never want any woman to ever have to not buy that damn lip-gloss!!!
Much love, from the lover of all things nice!!!
Much Love,
Maria
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