IS IT TIME TO MOVE ON?
Many of us have heard that time heals all wounds. Would you believe me if I told you that is not totally true? Divorce is like a death in many ways and it is only natural that there are a grieving and mourning period. You know that time when it’s hard to get out of bed. When you feel so heartbroken that you cannot believe you are not dead from heartbreak. When you realize you have not showered and have been wearing the same clothes for days, you know that kind of grieving?
Then let’s not forget the anger that soon follows. The kind that has you yelling at television commercials when you see people in love, or when you are out somewhere and lose your temper for no apparent reason? No, you are not losing your mind; you are simply living out your grief in the only way you know how. We have all been there, me too. I remember one day my dog was so happy to see me that he jumped on my lap and spilled my coffee all over me and I yelled at him like he was a mass murderer. His sad, cowering face still haunts me to this day.
And that’s when I knew it was time to change things. Things that I could change and get control of. Me and my emotions. I had to decide to stop wallowing in the past; stop feeling and acting like a victim and start moving forward in the healing process. That my friend was a scary process, because it meant, I had to actually face a few demons and perhaps even accept some responsibility for my part at the end of my marriage. Yes it was awful what happened, yes it’s not how you envisioned your life, and yes poor you, but it’s time to snap out of it and move on and move forward. It’s time for you to change your mindset of how you see yourself and this divorce and to start looking at the future. Because there is one thing I know for sure, the longer you remain in a grieving state, the easier it is to stay there and not move on. Heartache, sadness and victim mentality become your new state of being, your new normal.
Ask yourself these questions and be brutally honest with yourself.
Do you want to still pine for a man/relationship that was not good for you or your children?
Do you want to spend the rest of your life in a relationship that is mediocre at best?
Do you want to stay stuck in the past?
Are you willing to let life move on without you and perhaps miss some of the best opportunities and times of your life?
I’m pretty sure that you have answered No to these questions. So you have a choice and it looks like this. Do nothing and continue to live in this semi-alive state of barely living, or figure out what you need to do to move on and start healing and start living your life again. Join the land of the living once again. Because when you decide to change things, that it’s not ok to live and feel so miserable, everything for you will change. It won’t be overnight, but it will happen and you will finally start to heal and finally be in a wonderful place where life is good and you can actually face each day without self-medicating, without crying all day and most importantly with your head held high and integrity intact.
I can hardly wait to see what that looks like. Here’s to your new normal.
With much love,
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