So you have woken up one morning and you look over at your husband or partner and you feel nothing. No affection, no love, no desire. In fact, you feel the total opposite. You feel like you can’t get far enough away. And then the “D” word comes to your mind.
I don’t think divorce is a bad thing. I think it’s the only option when people are desperately unhappy. I am sure that you have heard the horror stories from friends and colleagues about unreasonable exes and rigid visitation and the horrendously expensive legal bills. But it does not have to be that way. There are emotions involved, that’s for sure, but in order to get through the process of divorce and finding yourself as a new financially and emotionally independent woman, there’s a bit of work that needs to be done.
Let’s start with this. Evaluate how you feel right now in your marriage or relationship. Be really honest here. There are no right or wrong answers. But be honest. You feel really lonely. I mean how can that be? You are married, right? Wrong. Nothing is more heartbreaking when a somebody tells me that they are lonely in her marriage. If you feel lonely, despair, unhappiness, a sense of failure and even anger, you are not alone. But step back for a moment. Think about how you would feel in 5 or 10 years if you did nothing about your situation. You would still be lonely, angry, disappointed with yourself for still staying in a marriage that was painfully wrong for you to be in. You would still feel despair, and resentment and disappointment. You would feel an overwhelming sense of loss for years gone by; that you allowed yourself to live in this hell.
Now let’s turn that around. Think how you would feel if you did something about it. This is the power that sets you free. Imagine making the decision to leave the relationship or marriage. Just the thought lifts you up. You feel happy, confident and surprisingly light!! You would likely sleep better. You would have a sense of excitement and some fear. You may even feel more attractive. Whatever those feelings are they are real and it’s time to stop ignoring the signs. Imagine how great it would feel to be a financially, emotionally, independent single kick-ass woman.
Listen, don’t get me wrong. Divorce is not glamorous. But it does not have to be life ending. Divorce is a new beginning. It is scary. There are waters that need to be navigated and you don’t even have a life jacket. There is terminology that has you running to Webster’s dictionary.
And that’s where I come in. I have experience in this field, having lived through divorce myself. I recovered financially and emotionally, after devastating and debilitating financial and emotional ruin. I also worked as a legal assistant for 10 years. Now I am certainly not a replacement for your lawyer or attorney, but I can help you better understand the process and sort through some of the processes and the emotional baggage, all the financial ups and downs and get you moving onto the track of finding yourself as a newly independent woman. And that may look like something you never imagined. New life, new career, new body, new love.
Whatever that looks like, know this. There is money after divorce, there is a life after divorce and there is love after divorce.
To the new you!!!!
With much love.
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