EVERYONE HAS THINGS THEY WISH THEY KNEW WHEN THEY WERE YOUNGER, HERE ARE 10 THINGS THAT I WOULD GO BACK IN TIME AND TELL MYSELF.
I think that as we all age, not only do we notice more wrinkles (ugh) but often on birthdays we reflect back on our life. I mean it’s kind of hard not to.
Over the decades’ life certainly has given me my fair share of challenges, and honestly, they do not seem nearly as daunting as they were, at least now that they are behind me.
To any woman wanting to impart wisdom on important young people in their lives, whether it is children, relatives or friends I share these 10 things that I would tell my younger self.
1. You will love again, honestly.
Remember that first love that was so devastating when it came to an end, well you will get over it, eventually laugh about it. You will truly get over it and one day even be able to look back at it fondly.
2. Take care of your body by exercising and eating healthy.
Remember the days of the late-night hoagies from 7-11 and the chips and coke, I mean not even diet coke for crying out loud. Well as you age, metabolism does slow down and it’s harder to keep that girlish figure. So don’t say, I’m young, I’ve got my whole life to get fit. Wrong, wrong wrong. Lay the foundation now and your older body will thank you. One less squat to get your ass back to where it was when you were 16.
3. Save some money.
I mean I was no better than the youth of today. Money burned a hole in my pocket. I had to spend it. But often the smallest issue with my car, or some unexpected expense, became a catastrophe!!! It did not have to be. Ah, if only I had saved a few bucks and not bought those $100 jeans, but damn my ass did look fine in them!
4. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
Fear is another bad four letter word. Feel the fear and do it anyways. If I had gotten over my fear of being a young single unwed mother, I would have saved myself from a divorce, years of heartache and verbal abuse. Run towards fear. I think as we age, we know that time is definitely not on our side, so the fear, or rather the fear of not doing something because we are scared, is quieted by our resolve. I mean I went to 7 Flags at the age of 51 and rode the world’s scariest roller coaster. I screamed like a girl, made all kinds of promises to God and literally kissed the ground when I got off….but I did it.
5. Invest in yourself.
It has taken me being well into my 40’s before I finally decided it was time to get my shit together and do some real personal development. A life plagued with bad marriages, unsatisfying careers finally got old and with the tick tick ticking, I did it. Like insurance, investing in yourself when you are young, truly is the best investment you can make in your future. The time is now.
6. Gratitude really does change your life.
Being grateful for what you do have, rather than focusing on what you don’t have is the best mindset you can have. From gratitude comes abundance.
7. Forgive easily.
Holding a grudge gets you nowhere. Hey, I’m Sicilian and holding a grudge is like a way of life. But life has taught me that sometimes forgiveness is the best prescription. Don’t waste energy being mad at somebody if you can’t forgive, then at least let that person go and be out of your life so that negative mo-jo doesn’t continue to plague you. It’s ok to take people out of your life that really are toxic.
8. Spend more time with family.
Remember when you couldn’t wait for the next dance or party or event? You would plan your outfits, crimp your hair, and apply that blue eyeshadow. You couldn’t get away from your parents fast enough. But remember this, it may not be cool to spend time with your parents, but they will appreciate it more than you know. I love my dysfunctional parents and I actually don’t mind spending time with them (in small quantities of course). And now as a mother when my daughter wants to hang out with me rather than go out with her friends, the feeling of sheer joy is indescribable. Thank you, darling.
9. Stuff does not measure your success.
Stuff is stuff is stuff. You can always get stuff. Success is measured by the person you are. Your core values, your friendships, your family. Making a good impression, reducing your carbon footprint and being a great friend, child, and sibling is the ultimate success. Be the person that everybody wants to be and everybody wants to be around.
10. Live your life on your own terms, as long as you don’t hurt anybody in the process.
An unlived life is a life that is lived according to the expectations of others. Before long you find yourself unhappy and decades have gone by. It’s ok to live your life by your design. Don’t do what others expect you to do, don’t take the career path that repulses you because your parents want you to. Live your truth, because you only have but one shot at this life.
So share this list with the young people in your life. If you need to give yourself a refresher as well, it’s ok, because it never too late, to turn over a new leaf and get your shit together.
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